Category Archives: Final Fantasy Marathon

Final Fantasy Marathon: Mt. Gulg and the Big Rooms of Nothing

In today’s episode of Final Fantasy, the Warriors of Light finally get back on track and delve into the fiery depths of Mt. Gulg.

Marilith, one of the Four Fiends, is waiting for them far beneath the surface, but first they have lots of exploring to do. And the floor is literally lava. It’s a good job they packed plenty of potions, but you’d think they’d have brought more sensible shoes for such an excursion.

Of course, before they even get to Marilith, they have to face one of their biggest challenges yet: the seemingly endless Big Rooms of Nothing!

Final Fantasy Marathon: The Wrong Dungeon

After a bit of farting around getting lost, the Warriors of Light finally find themselves in front of their next dungeoneering challenge.

Okay, it’s the wrong dungeon, but they’re there now, so they might as well dive in and have a bit of an explore. What could possibly go wrong, after all?

Mindflayers, dear reader; mindflayers are what could possibly go wrong.

Final Fantasy Marathon: Navigation Issues

After last week’s unfortunate adventure in the Earthgift Shrine, the Warriors of Light do their best to get back on track.

However, it’s not quite that simple! Their next destination is concealed in the heart of a complicated labyrinth of rivers and streams… and it turns out that they perhaps weren’t even heading in the right direction in the first place.

Oh well. Those are the perils you sign up for when you take on a less linear RPG!

Final Fantasy Marathon: This Was A Mistake

You know how sometimes you get yourself into a situation that, before long, makes it abundantly clear that you have made a poor decision?

Well, that’s what happened in today’s episode of Final Fantasy. Fresh from their defeat of Lich, they decide to check out the newly unlocked Earthgift Shrine, because surely a newly unlocked dungeon is something you should go and check out immediately, isn’t it?

Well… nope. Let’s maybe save these bonus dungeons for the endgame, huh? You’d think I’d know that after having played this version before, but apparently not…

Final Fantasy Marathon: Wrath of the Lich King

In today’s episode, the Warriors of Light score their first major victory over the Four Fiends and cleanse the Cavern of Earth once and for all.

The fact that this part of the game makes you seek out the advice of an inconveniently located sage then re-run a dungeon in a different context was something pretty distinctive at the time of original release; an audience of players more accustomed to linear “straight line to the finish” games may well have found themselves surprised and baffled when they discovered what was necessary in order for them to progress.

We now know that to be the nature of RPGs, of course; but someone had to define and codify the conventions we take for granted today, didn’t they?

Final Fantasy Marathon: Vampire Hunter F(F)

Last time, the Warriors of Light decided to take a well-earned holiday in the town of Melmond, only to discover it was a right shithole.

It (apparently) wasn’t the fault of the people of Melmond, however; the nasty vampire who had taken up residence in the Cavern of Earth was supposedly to blame, because he was blocking the flow of earth energy from the crystal and making everything rot. And this made all the buildings fall down, supposedly.

Motivated entirely by altruism (well, maybe a bit of greed… treasures are shiny!), the Warriors of Light descend into the Cavern of Earth to try and deal with this undead terror once and for all…

Final Fantasy Marathon: Lali-Ho!

In this sixth episode of the Final Fantasy Marathon, we take our legitimately gotten gains (courtesy of the Mystic Key) and take a trip to go and visit the dwarves.

Dwarves are another example of an aspect of Final Fantasy that was lifted from Dungeons & Dragons, though few can deny that the Japanese series puts its own unique twist on the dumpy delvers. Their catchphrase of “lali-ho!” (or variations thereof depending on who was on localisation duty at Squaresoft that week) became a recurring feature for a number of installments… and indeed at the time of writing the dwarves have most recently made a comeback in fanservice festival Final Fantasy XIV as part of the Shadowbringers expansion.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. I’ve got some Nitro Powder burning a hole in my pocket (quite literally) and I can’t think of anyone better equipped to make good use of it than a dwarf.