Waifu Wednesday: Bee-Tan

I respect anyone who knows what they want, and who is not afraid to freely express those things that they want, regardless of how it makes them look.

Pixie Team’s Private Usamael, better known by her codename Bee-tan, certainly falls into this category. Despite hailing from a planet that has largely lost the knack of everything to do with interpersonal interactions and relationships, Bee-tan is a libidinious young woman with a penchant for lusting after anything in a skirt. Including her own partner Private Kameriel, or Kame-pon.

She’s a colossal pervert, as gay as a window and I love her to bits. Let us celebrate this tiny little Pandemonian ahead of our in-depth exploration of the game in which she appears.

Bee-tan and Kame-pon were chosen for a mission to Earth on the grounds that they are some of the only remaining Pandemonians who have managed to successfully cultivate an honest, genuine friendship with one another. While the two appear to be opposites in terms of attitude — Kame-pon is very serious, in contrast to Bee-tan’s rather lackadaisical attitude — it’s clear that the pair have become very important to one another.

A cornerstone of their relationship is complete openness and honesty. While Kame-pon is somewhat more reserved in this regard, tending to only bring things up she absolutely needs to — albeit never hesitating when these instances arise — Bee-tan has trouble restraining herself from speaking her mind at all times. She makes no secret of the fact that she is extremely excited about the prospect of visiting a girls’ dormitory on Earth because she found the pre-mission reference materials “SUPER DUPER CUTE”, and she is genuinely concerned about how Pandemonian society is “a bit weird”, particularly because everyone is “far too disinterested in the girls”.

In other words, Bee-tan is a bit frustrated in how her society is. It’s obvious that she wants to express herself freely and enjoy friendships and relationships with a variety of people, but the nature of how society has developed on her home planet makes that very difficult for her to do. She’s an extrovert trapped in an introvert’s world, but rather than letting this get to her, she simply takes pride in who she is and shows no shame whatsoever in even the most outrageous things that come out of her mouth.

Despite her seemingly less than wholesome intentions at the outset of the story, it becomes clear over the course of Gun Gun Pixies that Bee-tan has an honest interest in both Earthling society and in the wellbeing of the dorm occupants. Early in the game, she is extremely concerned about one of the girls they are observing dieting to excess, and takes it upon herself to use the “Happy Bullets” she and Kame-pon have been armed with to help make a positive difference. And as the game progresses, she becomes very obviously attached to each and every one of them, fully invested in all their rather mundane struggles of day-to-day existence.

She has an endearingly cheeky streak about her, though, and this is beautifully rendered through a combination of her wonderfully expressive character art and Marika Kouno’s incredibly enthusiastic voice acting. Her distinctive “Ushashashasha!” laugh is incredibly infectious, and her honest expressions of surprise and delight when she thinks she might catch a glimpse of something she shouldn’t are just wonderful.

This carries across to her movements in the game, too. Rather than running in a sensible, dignified style, she sprints with her arms out behind her in a clear expression of childish joy. She whoops and hollers with delight when defeating an enemy, and she grunts with adorable determination when crawling into tight spaces.

She also knows her limitations. She freely admits that she doesn’t set secure passwords on her computer back at home because she can never remember them and she immediately admits when she doesn’t know or understand something, but you always get the impression she’s trying her best. Kame-pon respects this, too; despite frequently seeming to express impatience and disapproval with Bee-tan’s impulsivity and airheadedness, it’s clear there’s genuine affection there.

In many ways, Kame-pon feels a lot like an older sister or even a mother to Bee-tan’s rambunctious childishness, and this is probably what makes their relationship work so well: they complement one another perfectly, with each able to compensate for the areas where the other struggles. Bee-tan can express herself to a fault; Kame-pon, meanwhile, is typically the one able to take a more level-headed approach to a situation.

Bee-tan recognises the importance of this relationship, too, though it’s clear she’s never known anything different. At the conclusion of one mission, she hesitates to report the pair’s findings on the grounds that she didn’t think it was anything unusual, until Kame-pon points out that everything they observed would be brand new to a Pandemonian. Bee-tan simply notes that she thinks what they observed was “normal”, at which point Kame-pon reminds her that they “aren’t like other Pandemonians, for better or worse.”

These feelings give Bee-tan a strong desire to want to spread happiness; she seemingly spends most of her life being happy at just existing — particularly as she gets to spend all her time with her beloved Kame-pon — and, as she comes to understand the targets of their observation more and more, wishes nothing more than to keep them all smiling, even when times become difficult and bizarre for everyone involved.

She’s noisy, exhausting, constantly inappropriate and probably a complete nightmare to deal with for any period of time, but it’s hard not to come away from Gun Gun Pixies feeling like you want a Bee-tan in your life — even if, as in the game, all her influence is from somewhere that she cannot be seen.

She’s an absolute delight, and there’s no-one I’d rather have in charge of my emotional wellbeing while I went about my everyday business. Sadly, I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m not nearly “girl” enough for her…

More about Gun Gun Pixies

The MoeGamer Compendium, Volume 1 is now available! Grab a copy today for a beautiful physical edition of the Cover Game features originally published in 2016.

Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed this article. I’ve been writing about games in one form or another since the days of the old Atari computers, with work published in Page 6/New Atari User, PC Zone, the UK Official Nintendo Magazine, GamePro, IGN, USgamer, Glixel and more over the years, and I love what I do.

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